How To Navigate Grief After Losing Someone To A Brain Haemorrhage

Grief is a journey that no one should have to walk alone, but too often, it feels isolating and overwhelming.

At The Natalie Kate Moss Trust, we are dedicated to supporting those who have lost someone to a brain haemorrhage, and to anyone who is struggling with grief after the death of a loved one.

In this article, we want to highlight the complexities of grief and offer practical advice to help guide you through this challenging time.

Article is written in Collaboration with Happiful Magazine

Brain haemorrhages, also known as haemorrhagic stroke, affect approximately 4.6 million people worldwide each year (source: World Stroke Organisation). There are several risk factors and causes of brain haemorrhages, but typically, there are no warning signs, which can make processing an unexpected brain haemorrhage all the more difficult as sadly around a third of people who have suffered a haemorrhagic stroke will not survive longer than a month, the grief that loved ones feel can be very traumatic and confusing.

An unforeseen bereavement can be especially hard to cope with. You may not have had a chance to say goodbye, which can add to the mixture of emotions you’re likely to be experiencing. You may feel a profound sense of loss, depression or emptiness.

It’s also common to feel shocked, confused, in denial, guilty, and even angry. The signs of grief can be physical (such as loss of appetite, poor sleep, tightness and inflammation) as well as emotional.

Bereavement is not linear, and the journey of grief will look different for everybody.

What works for some may not work for others and, remember, it’s not about “getting over” your loss but finding healthy ways to adjust to life without that person.

How do I cope with a sudden bereavement?

Find pockets of comfort

You may miss many things about the person you have lost, such as a warm hug or simply their presence. Where you can try to find small pockets of comfort. This could be cuddling a pet, having a bubble bath, getting a massage or sitting in the sun for a few moments.

Look after yourself and listen to your body

During times of grief, it’s easy to neglect the basics of self-care. You may feel disconnected from your body, or simply too exhausted to focus on your physical well-being. However, maintaining a routine of healthy habits is essential for your mental and emotional healing. Try to eat nourishing foods, get some rest, and engage in light exercise or get fresh air when possible. Even small steps, like a short walk or a nutritious meal, can help restore balance and energy during difficult times.

Similarly, if you feel energised enough to do some gentle exercise, such as going for a walk or gardening, this can support your well-being whilst grieving, but avoid overdoing it and exercising to the point of exhaustion. Our heightened emotions can leave us feeling fatigued and burnt out, so try to sleep as and when you feel you need to.

Try to keep things in perspective

Naturally, you may feel inclined to search for the answers as to why someone was suddenly taken away from you. Whilst this is a common reaction, it’s important to set boundaries with yourself and recognise when your thoughts might be irrational. Searching for answers can bring up difficult emotions and may cause you further distress.

Whilst it’s common to feel anger towards the person who has died or guilt for not “seeing it coming,” the reality is that the warning signs of a brain haemorrhage often come too late. This is something that can only be picked up by a medical professional, so you should never criticise yourself for not being able to prevent their loss. In her article, ‘Understanding loss,’ therapist and member of Counselling Directory, Julia Kouyoumdjian, notes that we may not always get the answers or closure we wanted. “Whatever loss you are experiencing right now, and whatever feeling that is bringing up for you, try to talk to yourself with kindness and avoid going to a place of self-blame.”

Grief Isn’t the Same for Everyone

It’s important to understand that grief is deeply personal. While some may experience shock, anger, or guilt, others may feel numbness or confusion. There is no “right” way to grieve and no timeline; it’s important to give yourself permission to feel however you feel, without judgment. Your grief may change from day to day, or even hour to hour, and that’s okay. Whether it’s the loss of a loved one to a brain haemorrhage or any other cause, every person experiences grief in their own way, and there is no one-size-fits-all response.

Listen to Our Podcast Episode About Grief

We understand that grief can feel overwhelming, and sometimes, hearing other stories can provide comfort. That’s why we’ve created the Prevent the Preventable Podcast—a space for those grieving to hear from others who are on similar journeys, share their struggles, and find solidarity in shared experiences.

Listen to our latest ‘How to navigate grief’ episode.

Seek support from friends and family – whatever that looks like for you

Some people who have recently been bereaved may wish to talk to friends and family about their loved one who has passed away and how they’re feeling, whilst others may prefer to take some time to themselves. Bereavement can sometimes feel isolating, yet this is not the time to try to navigate it completely alone. You may notice that family and friends are distancing themselves from you, or find it uncomfortable to talk about your loss. Remember that this is not because they don’t care for your feelings, but often they might fear saying the ‘wrong’ thing.

Try to be open and honest with your support system and let them know what you need from them. This might be a conversation, time to yourself, or even practical help around the home, such as cooking or childcare. Although you may wish to be in your own space physically, it’s important that you still feel supported by people around you and that you can reach out to them at any time. Communicating your needs will not only allow you to grieve in a way which is important to you but also means that those around you feel they can offer a helping hand.

Writing from Happiful on ‘How to cope with sudden bereavement,’ author of ‘How To Grieve Like A Champ’, and experienced grief counsellor and funeral planner, Lianna Champ, says…

“...it is only by talking about how the sudden death has made us feel that we can begin to unravel the emotional confusion that always comes with loss.”

Find a way to say goodbye and remember your loved one

The sudden and unexpected loss that can come with losing someone to a brain haemorrhage may mean you didn’t get the opportunity to say goodbye. Finding ways to help you say goodbye can help you move forward and get past any guilt that you may be feeling. You could write a letter to your loved one, talk to a photo of them, or visit a special place.

Another way to remember your loved one is to donate to charity, volunteer, take on a challenge or run your own event to help raise awareness and money for research to prevent this from happening to others in the future.

Seek professional support 

Whilst every bereavement journey is different, experiencing a sudden or traumatic loss can prolong grief. This is known as prolonged grief disorder (source: NHS, Grief after bereavement or loss). If you’re experiencing challenging thoughts or you’re struggling to cope, you may benefit from professional support from a counsellor or psychotherapist. (look at The Natalie Kate Moss Trust services page for therapy and/or grief support).

Working with a grief counsellor can help you to acknowledge your loss in a safe, supported environment, to help you move forward and learn strategies to cope. Some signs that you might need professional support include:

 ●      You are having suicidal thoughts.

●      You are turning to (or thinking about) drink or drugs as coping mechanisms.

●      You notice changes in your behaviour - such as acting recklessly or violently.

●      You are withdrawing from other people or yourself.

Losing someone to a brain haemorrhage can bring a host of emotions to the surface. The shock of your loss and the deep hole that might be left behind can leave you feeling confused and uncertain about what your future and day-to-day life might now look like. Remember to tune into your emotions and however you need to grieve, be kind to yourself during this time. 

---

You can find more information and support on Happiful, or look at The Natalie Kate Moss Trust services page for therapy and/or grief support.